Comments on: ‘Don’t you lot EVER think about the kids?’

By: Shaun O'Connell

Shaun O'Connell — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:05:09 +0000

having experienced personally and assisted others even with rights of audience the first thought is that the system doesnt care about children. Compare children in the 1970s to now – what a difference. We had freedom, a society outside of state agencies that looked after each other and children were allowed to be children.

How many lawyers can put hand on heart and say that they belive the theories being touted in both public and private law case such as attachment theory.

No-one has been able to explain how they measure it – neither can anyone define the words ‘ best interests of the children.’ Hearsay is virtually unchallnegable. LA social workers rely upon what ever is written in their files regardless of truth or otherwise and disclosure is a one sided impossible battle under the guise of ‘proportionate’ realistic and resource minded of the States failings. If you cannot show the evidence is relevant then the Judge refuses – until you see the documents no-one has a clue which is why the Data Protection Act is the only way to go.

At the end of the day the picture painted for the Court is rarely accurate enough [any many times very untruthful]. Whilst Judges should protect the Public from state abuses the publis are hands tied at getting the data needed to have a fair adversarial process.

So much for the ‘best interests of the childern.’

By: Jonathan

Jonathan — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:58:09 +0000

Noble servants of the court Tirelessly protecting Women and Children or synical manipulators cashing in when people are at their most vulnerable, Mmmmmm who knows for sure?
Interesting though that most people who earn a (meagre?) living seem happier with the first argument.
The circular argument rages on.
Jono

By: jennifer

jennifer — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:47:40 +0000

I have 3 beautiful children. two boys age 8 and 5, and a little girl who will be 4 in January. I have raised these children on my own, while me now ex partied every night. Drinking, smoking marijuana and somethime more. I filed for divorce in dec 2007. My date kept getting pushed back and finally in nov of 2008 I met with my attorney to sign the papers. At this time he had not contested for custody. I was talking to my attorney and I had told her my soon to be ex had lost his job. she said ” you’re not signing then” I asked why? “she said you won’t get enough support.” I told her I didn’t care” I had been supporting them on my own income for the last 7 years. In february he filed emergency custody. I begged him not to do this. He said as long as you sign this agreement. In dec of 2008 , I had lost my job also. Anyway to sum up my story, we were meeting half way every other weekend as of june 12. 2009. My ex has the children in Ohio living with his parents. On sept 15th he decided that he was going to go by when distance is a factor. This clause is in the settlement. However it says we may go by this. We didn’t.
I have not seen my children since september. My boys cry to me and want to come home. My daughter started asking if I was her mommy. He has physically and emotionally abused my 8 year old. I pray every night for the lord to bring them back to me where the belong. I tried finding legal help for low income and I tried pro bono.
Denied. I make too much money on unemployment. I have a degree in Radiation Therapy. I have been doing this for 12 years. I am limited to apply in Ohio, so we can have shared custody. I really don’t want to move there. I want my children half the time, but I know he will try to control everything. I could have a job tomorrow in Az,TX, MA , CA, but i am afraid if I do that then I will never see my children. I want modification of custody. I have so many contempts on this man. The children were always with me. My heart aches.

lost with no justice. What about the kids?

By: Simeon

Simeon — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 08:48:03 +0000

Interesting post – I work for a social work publication so it’s good to get a different perspective on the process. The principles of justice are important.
Do you have a view on the opening up of the family courts to the press?
I agree with you about teachers though! (Only joking!)

By: Care Wars « WALL – a social worker's blog

Care Wars « WALL – a social worker's blog — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 07:38:06 +0000

[...] 2009 October 21 by Brick Small spat over at Pink Tape when familoo wrote about a children’s guardian who had said to the lawyers in a case, [...]

By: mrsdmenopausemom

mrsdmenopausemom — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:40:05 +0000

No humor or tolerance? How can anyone get through the day without these qualities? Anyone who works with families and children in desperate need of help would go insane by the end of one day without humor or tolerance. I see children who are children of children, who often only eat when they are at school, who move frequently, and whose parents have little education. If they do live with mom, mom is worried about paying the bills, not helping their child with school work. The stories can break your heart and leave you feeling hopeless that you can help or that thngs will ever change. No Humor, No Tolerance, Puh – lease! Additionally, am I supposed to tolerate neglect, poverty, abuse, prejudice? I guess I just don’t understand your comment.

By: familoo

familoo — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 12:09:07 +0000

@Brick I just remind myself that the “waste of space” young adults that we see messing up their kids were probably being messed up by their parents in exactly the same way throughout their childhood, not to mention failed by the system designed to protect them. And that the kids we are trying to “save” may well end up repeating the pattern if things aren’t sorted out. It’s a depressing cycle where by and large even the abusers are victims. God doesn’t come into it for me (or at least I’m adopting the Thumper stance on that point). But I don’t think a condemnatory attitude is helpful – you need to understand the causes.

By: mrsdmenopausemom

mrsdmenopausemom — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 07:16:11 +0000

I’m so happy that you were joking! I thought you were, but wasn,t quite sure. I think teachers are so touchy because at this time, we feel under attack. Our state and nation have become so focused on test scores and “accountability” that the needs of the individual student have been thrown to the wayside. I also see I misspelled herd! How embarrassing :O Keep up the great work that you do.

By: Brick

Brick — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 07:12:23 +0000

Martin Narey would fully agree with mssc54 who seems to share with mrsdmenopausemum interests in teaching and in God but not in humour or tolerance. Do I detect a pattern?

By: familoo

familoo — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 15:28:33 +0000

Gee, teachers are touchy! Of COURSE I was joking about teachers.